Sunlight over me no matter what I do.

I just talked to John. He sounds so  excited about ASU, and about their program, and about opera and I’m really really happy for him (because his excitement is always a little contagious) but it also breaks my heart because I don’t want him to be so far away. Because guys are momentous douchebags, but he is not, he’s fucking perfect in every way and that somehow feels unfair. I don’t know where I’m going with this. I have feelings about this boy. They are very strong. But the time when we have to be apart feels like it’s careening closer and closer and I’m freaking out. #This has been a thought attack